Patriarchy and the family

Patriarchy places a very high priority on the family: Children obeying fathers. Wives obeying husbands. Schooling children at home. Staying with the family until marriage. Your father finding you someone to marry. Adherents are even opposed to Sunday school as the family should be teaching children about God.

What does Jesus teach us about family? Jesus is not nearly as pro-family as patriarchy supporters. He says, among others:

Mat_10:37  He that loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

Mat_19:29  And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.

Luk_14:26  If any come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

Jesus tells his followers to call nobody father, as there is only one father and master over them:

Mat. 23:8-9 But you are not to be called “Rabbi,” for you have only one Master and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth “father,” for you have one Father, and He is in Heaven.

As for honoring his family, which family does Jesus choose sides for? :

Mat 12:46-50 While he yet talked to the people, behold, his mother and his brethren stood without, desiring to speak with him. Then one said unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to speak with thee. But he answered and said unto him that told him: Who is my mother? And who are my brethren? And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said: Behold my mother and my brethren! For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.

A Christian, according to New Testament writers, has a new family – the family/ household of God. Among numerous such verses, here are a few:

Eph. 2:19  Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God; Gal_6:10  As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.

1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:

Believers are called brothers and sisters (meaning of brethren) – with one Father.

Now, if the New Testament extensively discuss being part of a spiritual family, why would God give authority to teach you and help you on the right way only, or mainly, to the natural family? Christ even approves of abandoning your natural family to follow him.

The Patriarchal focus on family authority is evidentially not how family is viewed in the New Testament. Biological family, in the New Testament, is something you should be willing to lose for Christ’s sake. Your real family is all the believers. There is family authority in the spiritual family, but from a structure where all – including fathers – are inherently brothers and sisters (brethren). It is not about hierarchy. It is about all believers submitting to one another. (Eph. 5:21)

Note:

Biblical Patriarchy is not the way families are pictured in the Old Testament either – in the Old Testament, most men were not patriarchs. Patriarchs were tribal chieftains, and most men and their families had to submit to whichever son the old patriarch appointed as new patriarch. See, for example Gen 27:37: 

And Isaac answered and said unto Esau, Behold, I have made him thy lord, and all his brethren have I given to him for servants; and with corn and wine have I sustained him: and what shall I do now unto thee, my son?

Tenet 21: A Multi-generational vision

21. The Bible presents a long-term, multi-generational vision of the progress of God’s kingdom in the world. Christian parents need to adopt this perspective and be motivated by the generational promises of Scripture, and church shepherds need to promote this outlook within their flocks. By the grace of God, as fathers faithfully turn their hearts toward their sons and daughters and the youths respond in kind, the next generation will build upon the faith and improve upon the faithfulness of their parents. (Ps. 78:1-8; Is. 59:21; Mal. 4:6; Lk. 1:17; Gal. 6:9)

Ps. 78:1-8 – Give ear, O my people, to my law; Incline your ears to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings of old, which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, telling to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and His strength and His wonderful works that He has done. For He established a testimony in Jacob, And appointed a law in Israel, Which He commanded our fathers, That they should make them known to their children; That the generation to come might know them, The children who would be born, That they may arise and declare them to their children, That they may set their hope in God, And not forget the works of God, But keep His commandments; And may not be like their fathers, A stubborn and rebellious generation, A generation that did not set its heart aright, And whose spirit was not faithful to God.
This passage could be used for telling your children about God, or for telling any descendants of your forefathers (for example nephews and nieces, or brothers and sisters, or perhaps even aunts and uncles, about God. (“What our fathers – that would include forefathers - have told us, we will not hide from their children” – children meaning descendants.) In Christ, all believers descend from the Father, and from other believers. As such this refer to any young believer. Young believers are “the next generation.”
Is. 59:21 – “As for Me,” says the LORD, “this is My covenant with them: My Spirit who is upon you, and My words which I have put in your mouth, shall not depart from your mouth, nor from the mouth of your descendants, nor from the mouth of your descendants’ descendants,” says the LORD, “from this time and forevermore.”
God has a multi-generational vision.
Mal. 4:6 – And he will turn The hearts of the fathers to the children, And the hearts of the children to their fathers, Lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.
Lk. 1:17 – He will also go before Him in the spirit and power of Elijah, ‘to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children,’ and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just, to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.”
This is a part of the truth, but we should not lose sight of this part either: Mat 10:34-36 - Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.  For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
Although God promised some degree of turning the hearts of the fathers to the children, His multi-generational vision is not dependent on biological families.
Gal. 6:9 – And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.
This is a good verse, but don’t support this tenet.

21a) The Bible presents a long-term, multi-generational vision of the progress of God’s kingdom in the world.

That is Biblical, primarily from an overview of the Bible.

We build on the heritage of our spiritual forefathers too, as any non-Jewish Christian could testify. (Heb 12:1 in context with Heb. 11) As such, a multi-generational vision don't mean staring yourself blind on your biological children.

God's multi-generation vision takes each generation, with their flaws, and builds up the Kingdom nonetheless. For example, look at the genealogy of Jesus: Adam was the one who caused death to enter the world. (Rom 5:12, 14) Rahab was a prostitute. David was an adulterer with murder on his conscience, etc. 

b) Christian parents need to adopt this perspective and be motivated by the generational promises of Scripture,

All Christians - including non-parents and those Christians who don't have Christian parents - could be encouraged by this. As we build on the generations of believers before us, biologically related or not, believers - biologically related or not - build on what we leave behind. (Heb 11-12:1)

c) and church shepherds need to promote this outlook within their flocks.

I believe pastors need to teach a multi-generational vision that includes not only biological families, to the whole congregation. Singles, widows, the divorced, the infertile, and children who come to church without parents or siblings wanting to come, should all be part of the (non-biological) multi-generational vision. But no verse was given for this.

d) By the grace of God, as fathers faithfully turn their hearts toward their sons and daughters and the youths respond in kind, the next generation will build upon the faith and improve upon the faithfulness of their parents.

There was no cause and effect demonstrated from the verses. Turning the hearts towards each other will happen, in some cases. Others will have to accept division between them and their families to serve Christ. There is no promise in the Bible that children will improve on the father’s faithfulness if his heart is turned towards them.

Other ways Christians understand this:

Precisely because the Bible presents a long-term, multi-generational vision of the progress of God’s kingdom in the world, most Christians believe that we should rather look at the last characters in the Bible than the first, that their ways are wiser. The patriarchs had a mere beginning of God's revelation. It is nothing close to the revelation we have in Jesus. As such, we should rather follow in the footsteps of the disciples of Jesus. If we want to learn something from the example of a Bible character, (as opposed to learning from clear scriptural commands and doctrine), the New Testament followers of Jesus are superior to the earlier followers of God. Abraham, Isaac or Jacob did not even have the 10 commandments revealed yet, while the New Testament Christians had Christ himself.

Summing it up

How reliable is this tenet? I will use a color code:

      The color code:

      This is adequately biblically defended

      This is a partial truth. (The other part of the truth, that together make it Biblical, will be added in brackets.)

      This is not biblically defended

21. The Bible presents a long-term, multi-generational vision of the progress of God’s kingdom in the world. Christian parents need to adopt this perspective and be motivated by the generational promises (which are not only biological) of Scripture, and church shepherds need to promote this outlook within their flocks. By the grace of God, as fathers faithfully turn their hearts toward their sons and daughters and the youths respond in kind, the next generation will build upon the faith and improve upon the faithfulness of their parents.