A father and his older children
22. Both sons and daughters are under the command of their fathers as long as they are under his roof or otherwise the recipients of his provision and protection. Fathers release sons from their jurisdiction to undertake a vocation, prepare a home, and take a wife. Until she is given in marriage, a daughter continues under her father’s authority and protection. Even after leaving their father’s house, children should honor their parents by seeking their counsel and blessing throughout their lives. (Gen. 28:1-2; Num. 30:3ff.; Deut. 22:21; Gal. 4:1,2; Eph. 6:2-3)
Gen. 28:1,2 – Then Isaac called Jacob and blessed him, and charged him, and said to him: “You shall not take a wife from the daughters of Canaan. Arise, go to Padan Aram, to the house of Bethuel your mother’s father; and take yourself a wife from there of the daughters of Laban your mother’s brother.
This is an example, not a biblical teaching. If this is teaching, should we teach young people to marry cousins?
Num. 30:3-5 – Or if a woman makes a vow to the LORD, and binds herself by some agreement while in her father’s house in her youth, and her father hears her vow and the agreement by which she has bound herself, and her father holds his peace, then all her vows shall stand, and every agreement with which she has bound herself shall stand. But if her father overrules her on the day that he hears, then none of her vows nor her agreements by which she has bound herself shall stand; and the LORD will release her, because her father overruled her.
This was the laws of ancient Israel. A girl in her youth means a girl under 12 in their culture. Children were seen as adults at 12. As such, this do not refer to older children at all.
Deut. 22:21 – then they shall bring out the young woman to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death with stones, because she has done a disgraceful thing in Israel, to play the harlot in her father’s house. So you shall put away the evil from among you.
It is worrisome that this is quoted: Do Sproul, Phillips and Lancaster want to return to stoning, as that society did?
Please note that this verse do not say she should stay with her parents.
Nor does it say she should be a virgin at marriage if she stays with her parents. (See Ex. 22:16-17 – she could marry as a non-virgin, and the shotgun wedding was a recognized concept. But she should, by Deut. 22:16-17, not lie about it – she should not marry Man 2 under the pretense of being a virgin while she is not. This lie is the only thing in the law, as far as I know, for which women could be stoned and men not.)
Gal. 4:1,2 – Now I say that the heir, as long as he is a child, does not differ at all from a slave, though he is master of all, but is under guardians and stewards until the time appointed by the father.
This, ironically, is a comparison to say we are no longer under the law: The law is a guardian prior to the inheritance coming in Christ. The irony is that the previous text used to defend this tenet, Deut. 22:21 was a stoning verse from that very law we are no longer under!
A child is under guardians and stewards, in this case, means he cannot manage his inheritance before his father deems him mature. This being under guardians refers to rich children who will inherit from their parents.
Eph. 6:2,3 – “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”
We should honor our parents.
22a) Both sons and daughters are under the command of their fathers as long as they are under his roof or otherwise the recipients of his provision and protection.
These verses do not spell out children are under his command. Deut. 22 (Old Testament law which passed when Christ came) only say a girl could be in trouble for doing one particular thing while under his roof, whether her father set rules about it or not. Gal 4 say heirs are under a father’s (delegated to stewards) command until a time he appoints, not “as long as they are under his roof.” This "time he appoints" is not the "time when they may make their own decisions about their lifes" but the "time they will inherit."
b) Fathers release sons from their jurisdiction to undertake a vocation, prepare a home, and take a wife.
What jurisdiction? This point was not defended at all.
c) Until she is given in marriage, a daughter continues under her father’s authority and protection.
No verse teaches she should stay under his protection until marriage.
d) Even after leaving their father’s house, children should honor their parents
d) by seeking their counsel and blessing throughout their lives.
Nothing in here say how children should honor their parents.
Other ways Christians understand this:
Christians outside patriarchy do not see this point at all.
Summing it up
How reliable is this tenet? I will use a color code:
The color code:
This is adequately biblically defended